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Back to Blog • Posted on December 3, 2014 by admin
Ever since Apple opened their App Store in 2008–Google opening their App Marketplace in 2010–apps have become the action word for smartphones. Whether it’s apps that allow users to interact with physical companies they do business with, apps for strict online use, or apps for games to pass time, there really does seem to be an app for everything these days. Most of them are useful; plenty of them are not, in any way, shape, or form. Which is why we decided to search through app databases to bring you our list of the ten weirdest and mostly pointless apps for smartphones.
Have cat(s)? Tired of them destroying your clothes or toilet paper because they’re bored and want something to play with? You might want to give this app a try. Marketed as the “World’s Best Video Game (For Cats)”, Game for Cats comes with two options: laser or mouse. The laser is unlocked in the free version, while the mouse requires the paid version. Either way, get ready to relinquish control of your phone until your cat gets bored and goes back to pouncing on you when you walk into the kitchen.
You’d be hard-pressed to find a person who’s never felt themselves falling asleep at work. Most people don’t get enough asleep, and it catches up with you. The developers at SilentLogic Studios decided to come up with (what’s promoted as) a solution to this issue in the form of an app that makes work-like noises while you catch some shut-eye. Sounds include: keyboard typing, mouse clicks, misc. office noises (i.e. pencil sharpener, stapler), paper shuffling, and human noises (i.e. clearing throat, sniffling). The app’s disclaimer says it’s meant for entertainment purposes only, which is their way of saying if you get fired for using the app, it’s not their fault.
You’d think with a name like Pointless Button that the makers were possibly trying to be ironic and made a game that actually has a point. And you’d be wrong. There is no point to this game but to press the button. You’re probably going to download the game anyways, though. Go ahead. We did.
Biloop’s Cry Translator claims to be the easy way to figure out what your baby wants when it’s crying, based on how the cry sounds. Boasting a 96% rate of effectiveness, the app has five different responses–either your baby’s hungry, sleepy, wants to play, needs to be changed, or wants a pacifier–and comes with detailed tips for each response based on a ten-second recording of your baby’s cries. The app claims to be good for new parents and grandparents. We like to think it’s just good for the baby.
Ever wondered what it would feel like to have a staring contest with a cartoon monkey? No? Well for $0.99, you can find out anyways. There’s nothing else to say about Goggle Eyes. It’s a monkey that stares at you. Period.
We’ve all heard of counting sheep as a method for helping people to fall asleep. The basic premise: picture sheep jumping over a fence, and count them. Concentrating on that simple task is supposed to remove all other thoughts from your head, making it easier to fall asleep once you (inevitably) get bored of counting jumping sheep. However, the Sleep Sheep app goes one step further and puts up a animation of sheep jumping over a fence and counts them for you. Which we know defeats the entire purpose. But still…there’s an app for that.
If you don’t have a problem treating your phone like an ice cream cone, Lick the Icicle might be worth a try. It’s a game, and the object is to lick the icicle down to nothing by licking the actual screen of your phone. Lick the same spot too long and your tongue will “freeze”. We recommend bringing napkins when you play.
iSteam is a virtual experience that makes the screen of your smartphone resemble a steamy bathroom window. From there, you can draw on it, move the phone around to change the trajectory of the water droplets, and otherwise stare out a virtual steamy window. Not very many options outside of that, but it’s free so there’s not much to complain about.
If you’re finding yourself incapable of emitting short bursts of air from your mouth, Blower utilizes your phone’s speaker system to generate a “blast” of air capable of blowing out a candle or brushing aside scraps of paper. We’ve seen worse things for $0.99.
The description for HangTime describes the app as a game to see how high people can jump with their phone in their pockets. It then says that the app is not meant for people to throw their phones in the air, “no matter how much fun it is.” Seriously, they don’t want you to throw it in the air, even if “this app works well for that” and throwing your phone would be both “effective” and “awesome.” But the app isn’t meant for that, they swear…you get the point.